Thank the Lord for Gina Ford!

Wellingtonian Kelly's journey from Mumzilla to Routine Queen

“If you are struggling with your new baby’s sleep patterns –  ignore the ‘do what feels natural’ advice, get to know your baby, read about what theories are out there – then find the courage to try them all. One will work for your baby, and for you.

When I had Isabella, I said I would be a mother without a routine. She would guide me - she would to be a Demand Fed Baby. But Demand Fed Babies feed at anytime. Day and night. My husband and I both slept a bit. But, after four weeks, Isabella became more alert. This coincided with more ‘awake’ time and we discovered baby tiredness aka grumpiness. We would try putting her to bed in the evening, but she didn’t want it. We spent our evenings holding her and bribing her to sleep by dancing to James Blunt. She would finally go off either in our arms or on the breast, and by 10pm she would be asleep in her cot. We were exhausted.

We accepted this ‘arrangement’ because she had started to sleep through the night. However, at 12 weeks, she started waking a couple of times in the night. With the same bedtime dramas and increased lack of sleep, the exhaustion and set about our imminent demise. Something had to change.

Public library to the rescue

 I borrowed a pile of books and frenzied through the plethora of information. But it was so confusing; each ‘doctor’ contradicting the next. Continuum theories, tough love theories, sleep training theories, a man named Dr Spock even had a theory.

I would try one theory one week and another the next, tearing my hair out and turning into mumzilla. Finally, I found a book that made complete sense to me, it was sensitive and pointed out exactly what I was going through. Praise the lord for Gina Ford and her book The Contented Little Baby, which advocates: Routine.

Principally, a structured feeding timetable and regular naps - I learnt at about 8-12 weeks a baby develops adult REM and non-REM sleeping patterns. A baby’s sleep cycle is 40-50 minutes, explaining why she would wake after 45 minutes needing me to assist her back to sleep. I now understood the problems of ‘negative sleep associations’, which we had unknowingly fostered. The James Blunt thing and nodding off on the breast was the trouble, for whenever she woke, she required them both to get back down again.

Sleep training boot camp

At 3.5 months, Issy's association was well set in; she then needed Sleep Training Boot Camp. First, I had to confirm she was healthy to ensure the crying wasn’t health related; one check-up later, we were given the green light. That evening she screamed for 1.5 hours before finally falling asleep. It was torture and I balled! I checked on her in 10, 15 and 20-minute intervals and after 4 days of this maternal purgatory the crying ceased and she settled down.

I had also learnt to ensure she was never awake longer than 2 hours during the day, and each sleep-time I made sure I was consistent with my approach so she knew what was coming, and ALWAYS put her to bed while awake. I stopped demand feeding, I fed her at the same time five times a day and didn’t let her ‘feed herself to sleep’.

I don’t believe all babies are the same, and Gina won’t work for everyone, but she certainly did for us!"