Neighbourhood stress

Neighbourhood stress can take various forms, eg, a combined feeling of stress in a neighbourhood in reaction to something or destructive relationships between and among neighbours.

The good news is that at least one area in New Zealand is looking to revive good old fashioned neighbourhood values – a Papamoa development with 260 dwellings (in the high $400,000s) will have narrow streets for quieter, slower traffic, front porches built onto houses to sit on and chat with passersby, no driveways and lots of communal space to gather in. The bad news is we can’t all be lucky enough to live there – so here are some tips to combat neighbourhood stress.

Break down of relationships

Most people get on well with their neighbours – after all, we all want to be able to live happily at home. But sometimes this isn’t the case, and bad relationships with neighbours can become very stressful if you don’t take considered action to remedy the situation.

Problems between neighbours can take various forms, ranging from barking dogs, persistent loud music or rubbish burn offs, to more serious ones like harassment, threats or violence. It’s a good idea to manage disruption before it becomes a long standing annoyance, which can escalate into more serious problems causing stress.

Resolving the issue should be a joint effort between you and your neighbour and, sometimes, other agencies like Housing New Zealand, the police or the Tenancy Tribunal.

Tips for managing conflict

If the problem isn’t too serious, try to talk to your neighbour about what is upsetting you. It’s possible they don’t even know you re stressed, so you may be able to sort things out pretty quickly.

If that’s not successful, or if you don’t feel up to making contact with your neighbour, contact your the appropriate authority. Noise and animal problems should be reported to your local council and/or Housing New Zealand, while any criminal behaviour (such as property damage, violence or threats of violence) needs to be reported to the police.

Keep a diary record of your activities

Note the time, day and nature of the problem, who you contacted, what you said and their response. If you have to attend any mediation or hearing to resolve the matter that information may be used as evidence.

Do your bit to avoid unnecessary stress

• Greet new neighbours with a home baked treat, some veges from your garden or ask them over for a cup of tea. Getting off to a great start does wonders to forge good relationships, so when problems do arise they are easier to deal with.
• Organise neighbourhood events, like BBQs or Friday family nights, and have fun together. This is also a good way to increase neighbourhood security.
• Be considerate with noise, eg, when mowing lawns – don’t start at 7am on a Sunday – or let neighbours know when you are planning a party so they can join in, or go out!
• Come to a sensible agreement over where you keep your rubbish bins, sometimes the smallest thing can upset a person and there are often very easy solutions. 
• Offer to look after pets or collect mail when your neighbours are away – they are likely to return the favour.
• Driveways can be more than stressful, they can be lethal. Make sure shared driveways are safe and you and your neighbours understand about keeping a look out for children and pets, lowering your speed and being considerate about where you park and when.
• Trees have caused more neighbourhood arguments than many other things! If you have one you want to remove, check with the council first what you can and cannot do. Urge neighbours to do the same with theirs. It’s just good manners to ask your closest neighbours about future planting if you know your plans are going to affect their view, sunlight or privacy. You’ve been warned!

Burning of rubbish

Many neighbourhood arguments are caused by inconsiderate and/or illegal burning of rubbish. If you want to have a fire, first find out from your local council if it is allowed. If it is:

• Tell your neighbours when you are going to burn and for how long.
• Supervise the fire at all times and make sure you have a hose ready in case you need it.
• Don’t burn tyres, plastic, rubber, painted wood or treated timber, mattresses or carpets. All of these can cause toxic fumes.
• Don’t burn tins or glass, or aerosol cans – they may explode and hurt someone.
• Don’t light fires in strong winds.
• Don’t light fires if there is washing on nearby clothes lines.

Threats to neighbourhoods

Stress can result from real or perceived threats to you and your community, and can make existing stresses in your life worse. Neighbourhood stress can result from events such as natural disasters, threats like terrorism or crime or health emergencies and global economic turmoil, and cause worry about yourself and your family. Even witnessing and experiencing disturbing events through the media spark our bodies into a stress response.

Talking about your feelings with friends, relatives and neighbours will help you deal with this stress. A stressful neighbourhood event may even allow you to make contact with people around you that can help to make you feel looked after. Knowing your neighbours better can give you a greater sense of security.

Try not to dwell exclusively on the events or threats that cause your stress, turn off the evening news, talk about normal daily things and try to maintain your normal routine.